


Lydia Bennet's Totally Lame Evening

by Diaphenia



Category: Lizzie Bennet Diaries
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 19:32:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/601302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diaphenia/pseuds/Diaphenia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia is supposed to be going out with Jane, and Jane alone, tonight. It's about time; ever since her sisters went off to Netherfield, she's been bored out of her freaking mind. But as usual, Lizzie+the internet ruins everything, lbr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lydia Bennet's Totally Lame Evening

**Author's Note:**

  * For [annemari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annemari/gifts).



> With love for my beta.

Lydia Bennet stared down at her phone in abject horror. Was there nothing Lizzie couldn’t ruin? And yet, there is was.

 

 

 

For too long, Lizzie had terrorized the family with her awful clothes and homebody ways, but Lydia was drawing the line. And the line was decorated like police tape, only this time it said, _Lizzie, keep out_. And it was glittery.

It wasn’t fair anyway. Ever since her boring sister went to live with Jane at Netherfield, the two of them had been thick as thieves.

Somehow, that huge mansion could hold ridiculous amounts of shoes, fourteen ice sculptures, and three tvs that were as tall as she was, but only two Bennet sisters. Lame. Whatever. The point was, Jane was finally out with Lydia and Lizzie wasn’t going to ruin that.

 

> She texted Lizzie,  _Hey sis, you’ll never guess who wandered into Carters!_  
>  _Who?_ Lizzie wrote back, and Lydia could picture her face all scrunched up, the way she did.  
>  _Your favorite person in the world!!_  
>  _Charlotte?_  
>  _Do you NOT understand sarcasm?!?_  
>  _Darcy? WHY?_  
>  _He’s asking about you. I told him to just hump your leg already and stop bothering me_

She threw her phone in her bag before Lizzie could respond. _Done and done,_ she thought, satisfied she’d scared her off.

Jane returned to the table, drinks in hand. Lydia discovered her rum and Coke was actually just Coke. If anyone else tried to pull that stunt on her, she’d be pissed, but Jane is different. She never judges the way Lizzie does, would never call her an alcoholic the way Lizzie always does when she buys Lydia a drink.

And Lydia’s totally _not_ an alcoholic, thank you very much. Alcoholics spike their morning coffee and get beer bellies and slur their words, and she does none of those things, so Lizzie can just stop it with the Betty Ford thing and shut up.

It’s nice to get some time alone with Jane, to hear all about the things she’s been up to: wine tastings, dinners with courses, and all that rich people stuff. Maybe one day when Jane was married to Bing, Lydia could move in and buy half the mall.

“You’re so lucky to get to spend your summer with Bing and his money,” Lydia said.

“You know his money doesn’t mean anything. He’s just such a nice person. Did you know wants to work with disenfranchised populations when he—”

“I know. Doc B is going to cure cancer using the power of his puppy eyes and you’re going to be a professional fashion guru and Lizzie will go to school _forever_ and live with Mom and Dad until she dies tragically when a pile of hideous blouses falls on her head.”

Jane gave her a smile. “Oh yeah? And what are you going to be doing with your life? Do you know where you want to finish your degree? Or what major you’ll be?”

“Lydia Bennet is going to be a _star_ ,” she said, throwing out her arms.

Her sister patted her arm reassuringly. “It’s ok if you don’t know yet. You just have to be thinking about it.”

Lydia could felt herself deflate a little, but before she could point out that she had plenty of time to figure out her life, she saw the most annoying thing ever.

The Netherfield clan— Bing, Caroline, and Darcy— all strolled in.

Well, Bing strolled, Caroline sashayed, and Darcy walked as though he had a stick up his—

“Is that Bing?” Jane asked, as though she could see the door, which she totally couldn’t. These two were cosmically in sync or something, which was great, but tonight was about _sisters_ , damn it. Well, _a percentage_ of sisters.

She had to solve this, and fast.

> _Lizzie, you have to come to Carter’s_   
> _I’m working on stuff. Besides, you-know-who is there_   
> _He’s not Voldermort. Besides, he left. And Jane needs you_   
> _Did you even read Harry Potter?_   
> _Come on, you’re going to die an old maid_

Lizzie wandered in half an hour later, and Lydia jumped up to intercept her before she could come over to their table, a two-person table with five drinks on it now. Getting rid of everyone was going to take some doing.

“Lizzie! Oh, you’re wearing that. Well, never mind.”

Lizzie frowned. “I thought you liked me in green.”

“That’s not quite what I said. Lizzie, you’ll never guess who ended up showing up again, totally coincidentally, this time with a sibling pair in tow.”

“Are you serious? You know,” she said, turning back to the bartender. “Make mine a double.”

“It was terrible. He asked me how you were doing, if you were here, and oh my god Darcy shut up already about Lizzie.”

“We’re probably going to have to costume theater this one,” Lizzie said resolutely.

Lydia’s first goal was to get rid of Caroline since she was the most talkative, then Bing, because while Jing was endgame, googly-eyes interfered with sister time. Darcy was last on the list, because he was basically an awkward turtle, but at least he barely spoke.

That Lizzie was going to be otherwise occupied was a given.

When Lizzie joined them at the already-overcrowded bar table, Lydia took charge. “Caroline, have you noticed that my sister Lizzie is perpetually single? I bet you could help her with that.”

Caroline smiled beatifically. “I would love to help Lizzie out.” She seemed to be enjoying this more than is necessary. “Should we start with a makeover?”

“I’m not perpetually single, I’m _busy_ ,” Lizzie said with a scowl.

Lydia shook her head. “No need to make her over tonight. Just take her over _there_ and make her talk to _a_ guy, any guy, before she turns 35.”

“You know, the last time I was here, I did fine. I got a number. Remember swim week? You insisted—”

“Boring. Go,” Lydia said, shoving Lizzie towards the bar, along with Caroline. The guys standing by the bar were leagues ahead of Lizzie, but looked mostly drunk enough not to notice.

She waited way way way too long, while Bing and Jane got all couple-y, and Darcy just stood there, drinking his scotch and letting his jaw muscles twitch while he looked over at the bar. She twirled the straw on her coke between her fingers, watching Caroline and Lizzie talk to the boys by the bar. The boys were into it, so clearly it had something to do with Caroline.

“Idiots,” she muttered, watching a guy totally fall all over himself to offer his bar stool to Lizzie.

“Clearly those men possess little to recommend them, or they wouldn’t be here,” Darcy muttered back. Apparently, irony wasn’t really his thing.

“Probably went to State schools,” she said, trying not to giggle. This part? Definitely going into costume theater.

“Probably,” Darcy agreed, glaring off at them. Lydia wondered, briefly, if he was interested in Caroline. Or were they related? It was so hard to keep track of other people.

“You know, Caroline’s looking a little green,” Lydia said, touching Bing’s arm. Bing was easily startled, apparently, or else he’d been lost in Jane’s eyes or rocking bod or something.

“Caroline looks fine,” Bing said. Lydia narrowed her eyes. Ok, slight set-back.

“Darcy, your car is on fire.”

She saw panic in his eyes before he realized, perhaps, that they were indoors.

“I didn’t drive here,” he said.

“And yet,” Lydia said, smiling.

“Lydia, can you come here a minute?” Jane asked, grabbing her hand. She sounded mad. Not that the boys at the table would realize it, because she still sounded like a Disney princess.

“I think the stock market just crashed,” she yelled over her shoulder as Jane dragged her away.

Lydia followed her over towards the ladies room.

Jane washed her hands, then looked at Lydia in the mirror. “Are you up to something?”

“What could I possibly be up to,” Lydia said flatly, eyes not meeting Jane’s.

“Are you sure? You’ve been in a mood since... since Bing got here.”

“No.”

“Lydia Bennet, are you upset because— is this because our friends showed up?”

“ _Your_ friends,” she said.

Jane pieced it together. She gave Lydia a long hug. “I’m sorry they interrupted our time together. I didn’t know they’d be coming, honest.”

“I just miss you is all,” Lydia said.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” Jane said, breaking the hug. “And we’ll spend— maybe Sunday? together and do whatever you want. Anything, just the two of us. I promise. But you can’t keep trying to get people to leave.”

“Ok,” Lydia said. It was a fair compromise.

“Now let’s go rescue Lizzie from those guys by the bar,” Jane said.

Lydia sighed. “Do we have to?”

“Of course we do. Besides, I think Darcy’s about to have a heart attack,” Jane said.

Lydia laughed. “Who knew Lizzie even knew how to do body shots?”


End file.
